Update:
Years later, I can honestly say I’ve been healed. Occasionally, the thought still crosses my mind, but it no longer brings fear. Instead, it reminds me of how far I’ve come and how deeply God has healed what trauma once touched. What once controlled me no longer has power. God is good.
Original Post follows below.
Glass doors, eyeglasses, screens, drinking glasses, ATM machines, public countertops, tape, glue, windows, cell phone screens, mirrors, remote controls. What do these have in common for me? Fear.
One of my most unusual fears is using tape at work. How do you use it without leaving fingerprints? You can’t.
I’ve researched this fear for years. It isn’t about guilt or getting caught. It’s a deep‑rooted anxiety about fingerprints being found and misused. I understand the science behind them, yet understanding doesn’t always quiet fear.
I recognize I have some OCD tendencies. I’ve mentioned them lightly before, but they weren’t always part of my life. This fear didn’t appear out of nowhere.
It began after prolonged trauma. When safety is repeatedly violated, the brain learns to stay on high alert. Ordinary objects no longer feel ordinary. Small details feel dangerous. Even harmless surfaces can trigger unease.
Looking back, I realize how much changed. I once enjoyed working with my hands and creating without hesitation. Fingerprints never crossed my mind. Trauma rewired that freedom into caution.
Today, I’m making a decision. Fear no longer gets the final word. Understanding its root gives me power to move forward. Healing may be gradual, but fear does not control me.
Lord Jesus, give me the strength not to live governed by fear.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
Psalm 56:3-4 – “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?”
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