Helping a Friend with cancer

I’ve been asked several times: How can you help a friend fighting cancer? Here are some things that come to mind:

1. Keep it positive. Avoid sharing scary stories like, “My grandmother died from cancer three years ago.” It doesn’t help her stay hopeful.

2. Help with communication. Assist her in making a list of people she wants updated on her treatment. Managing calls and emails can be overwhelming, so offer to send updates after appointments if she wants.

3. Offer to go to appointments. Driving her and taking notes during consultations can be a lifesaver. Chemo brain can make it impossible to remember what the doctor said.

4. Pay attention to her mental health. After my first chemo, I became depressed and even had scary thoughts. Medication adjustments helped immediately. Keep an eye out and encourage her to speak up.

5. Run errands. Chemo brain and fatigue make even simple tasks hard—help with bills, groceries, and school commitments.

6. Laundry help. Offer to take it home and do it for her, especially after surgery when moving and lifting are painful.

7. Childcare support. Help with bus pickups, homework, and playdates, especially the days following treatments.

8. Meal support. Provide freezer meals, delivered dinners, or groceries for her to cook. Keep smells mild to avoid nausea triggers.

9. Coffee runs. A simple cup of coffee the day after treatment can prevent caffeine withdrawal headaches.

10. Respect her rest. Make a “Do Not Disturb—Resting” sign for her door.

11. Personal boundaries. Ask if there’s anyone she prefers not help her out—then kindly run interference.

12. Household help. Arrange for housework, lawn work, and even taking the garbage to the curb.

This list isn’t exhaustive—there’s always more ways to help. If you have ideas, leave a comment! Let’s make this journey a little easier for our friends.