HI my name is Tammy, and I am an OCD Dropout

Hi. My name is Tammy, and I had OCD.

At one time, many people honestly did not know I had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I hid it, or tried at least.

I had Tupperware stacked high in half my kitchen, each container labeled with neatly typed tags. Beans. Elbows. Rice. Yeast. Onion soup mix. Even Kool-Aid. Everything tucked away just so. The canned goods were another story altogether. Categorized by food group, then family, then variety, then size, down to the exact brand, labels facing perfectly forward. Of course.

Immaculate. That was me.

You may not have noticed that I always rinsed my personal dish, cup, or mug before serving myself food. I knew it was clean. I washed it. But I had to. And it had to be that mug. Not those over there. They did not feel right in my hand or on my lips. Plastic or acrylic cups, especially with dairy, were absolutely not allowed. Glasses required a straw. A bendy one. But never in milk, because plastic and milk do not belong together. Yes, I am aware milk comes out of a plastic jug. Duh.

Ice splashing up my nose? Instant horror. Forks could not feel thin or hollow. They had to feel solid and weighted just right. I had one fork. My fork. The kids all knew. Tongs had to line up perfectly. My silverware drawer was a thing of beauty. Truly enviable.

Paper plates, Styrofoam cups, disposable utensils? Never the top one, even when they were upside down. Plastic utensils got washed anyway.

Then there were the other oddities: socks, oral hygiene, bedding, bathtubs, towels, candle wax, stationery supplies, and yes, even hotdogs. Fingerprints? That is a phobia, not OCD, but we will not go there.

We are not even going to discuss germs and cleaning. or locks and appliances. 

And then, oddly enough, I dropped out. Cold turkey.

The year I divorced, got pregnant, and was diagnosed with cancer all at once, something changed. I got tired. Really tired. Now I am a full-time working, exhausted mom to five full-time kids and one part-time stepdaughter. I simply do not have the energy for OCD anymore.

If you watch closely, you may still catch a glimpse. I still have secrets. I tell you about them all the time. You just do not notice. Laugh out loud.

So why am I telling you all this?

Number one. We finally got a new, to us, refrigerator. Remind me to tell you about the landlord later. I drank a glass of milk tonight without rewashing the glass.

Number two. I took an uninterrupted bath. Uninterrupted. Mom of six. I scrubbed the tub for an hour first, and yes, I will do it again tomorrow even if no one touches it. I am glad I got that out of my system. Please do not tell anyone. It is embarrassing.

So here we are.

Hi. My name is Tammy, and I am an OCD dropout.