Thursday, July 28, 2011

Fingerprint-a-phobic

Glass doors, glasses, screens, drinking glasses, ATM machines, public counter tops, TAPE, glue, cell phone screens, remove controls.... what do these have in common?  FEAR! One of the worst fears is using tape at work! How do you use tape without leaving your fingerprints on it?  You can't!


Obviously I am the only person on this earth with the fear of leaving behind fingerprints!  I have searched for information on this subject for several years.  I have never committed any crime so fear of getting caught is not the issue.  I fear people retrieving my prints and using them for... something?  I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Justice Studies and Criminal Justice I understand about fingerprint.


I admit I do have several OCD tendencies.  I have admitted it here on my blog as well, well I kinda make fun of it.  As I was doing research on this and I realized I have not always been like this.  


Actually, I think it began with a traumatic event in 2004. A man had been stalking me, I had gotten a restraining order on him but he still persisted. He continued to break into my home on a daily basis, unscrew light bulbs outside, sawed bolts off the windows I had bolted shut, unlocked windows and went through our dirty laundry on a regular basis. 


One day I came home for lunch from work and discovered him crawling across my kitchen floor. Yes, scared the living crap out of me!  I screamed bloody murder and called the police from in the front yard. He crawled out a back window and I saw him running through the back yard.  He tried to jump over the fence but stopped when I screamed at him.  He begged and pleaded for me not to call the police (I was on the phone with them at the time). He stripped off the surgical gloves he was wearing, tucked them behind the fence post, and sat criss-cross-applesauce on the ground begging for me to let him go.  


When the officer arrived and cuffed this man I told him about the gloves.  That officer made me SWEAR to never ever ever drop that restraining order ever - the officer said that that man would eventually kill me.  After all what kind of man would wear surgical gloves when breaking into a home if he did not plan on some kind of bodily harm.  Especially since his fingerprints were all over the house already since this man was my estranged husband of 17 years whom I had been divoringe, with whom I share four children.


Why didn't I think of this before?  That HAS to be it. I used to LOVE wrapping presents.  I lacked one art history class in college to minor in art and fingerprints are all over art.  It never bothered me before. I sure am not going to let "him" win out by me continuing with this fear.  So I am deciding right here and now....this phobia is over!  Right now.  Now that I know what caused this fear I can control it right?  


Lord Jesus give me strength to not allow fear to have control over me.
2 Timothy 1:7- For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Psalm 56:3-4 - When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?