Father God, I cry to You,
Help me look only to You.
Forgive me for my deep despair,
Free me from all worldly care.
Keep my eyes turned to Your Light,
Help me not Your hand to fight.
Cleanse me from my darkest sin,
Let Your Sprit flow within.
Free me from my fears and woes.
Let Your Peace come fill my soul.
Unless You live within my life,
There’s no purpose for this life.
Teach me how to love you more
To worship You and praise You, Lord.
Scripture reading: Psalms 42
I laid down to rest asking God what was going on. I had a vision. There was a gigantic battle. There were two armies. One army was in black with rugged swords and hideous faces. The faces were filled with more hate than I thought existed. The other army was in white like a radiant light without swords. Deafening noises came from the dark army but the white was silent. I noticed that as a dark one would penetrate a white one with his sword the dark one would disintegrate. I was in the midst of this battle. Several times during the next day this vision came back. Each time I saw more people I knew in the midst of the battle with me.
I contemplated the seriousness and intensity of the battle. A word came to me on the importance of standing firm and wearing God’s armor. Much has been written and spoken on the parts of God’s armor but I have never found it easy to keep His armor on me when in the heat of battle. It seemed neither my strongest discipline nor my firmest will were strong enough to keep me in His armor.
God spoke to me about how much He desired me to be in the midst of Him. He desired me so much that He was willing to leave His throne, put on the sinful nature of man, and suffer beyond my finite comprehension. He told me how He longed for me to desire for Him to be in my midst. I came to see we do not really understand the meaning of the word “desire.” We live in a materialistic world. Our needs have been so bountifully met. We never lack anything long enough to experience a real desire. Like most of the words in our language we overuse the word “desire” and minimize its meaning.
“How,” I asked God, “do I obtain this desire for You as You have for me?” I meditated on God’s desire for me. I looked through the Bible at instances such as Abraham’s desire for God over the life of his long promised son. Where did the saints of old get such an intense desire — a desire so intense as to enable them to go the full distance?
I really wanted this desire. I knew I could not get it on my own. How could I get it? How do I get anything I want? I must pray for it. Once I allow God to show me the need for this desire, I will want it enough to seek after Him to implant it in me. I asked Him to find the most fertile spot within me to plant His seed of desire. I want it to take strong root and grow. I found things that seemed important were loosing their hold. This type of desire will really cause me to seek after the kingdom of God and His righteousness. The cost no longer matters. I know my goal and desire it with my whole being.
God earnestly desires me to desire Him. I cannot desire Him in that way unless He puts the desire within me. He will not put the desire within me unless I earnestly desire for Him to do so. Does it sound like a confused play on words? Yes, to the world it does. If you hear God calling you, you will want to respond. He will open the door to your understanding. He will enable you to begin an adventure far beyond your wildest imaginations.
I am excited God desires me so much. He is growing within me that same kind of desire for Him. I encourage you to step out and see, taste and drink of Him. You will never be the same again.
Prayer: Father, thank You for loving me so very much. Thank You for desiring fellowship with me. Quicken within me the same desire for You and for fellowship with You. Draw my mind toward You throughout the day. Teach me to talk to You and to listen to You.
This is another one on my Mom's devotionals you can find more of her devotionals at her blog GinRich here.